The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain is the key to transforming anger, sadness, and fear. ~Thich Nhat HanhFrom: https://www.lionsroar.com/healing-the-child-within/
Carl Jung was a renowned psychology expert who founded many theories about personality, identity, and analytical psychology.
Jung is reported to have originated the term “inner child” with the “divine child archetype”. It’s used as a concept to explore our challenges growing up and developing our personalities.
No matter how big or small, almost all of us experienced some kind of trauma as children.These traumas could vary from having your favorite stuffed toy thrown in the trash, to being abandoned by your best childhood friend, a car accident, a severe illness, to being physically or emotionally abused by your parents or caregivers.
Childhood trauma impacts you on a physical, emotional, mental and even sexual level. This can result in issues such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, phobias, destructive behavioral patterns, and even chronic illnesses.
There are many more examples of childhood trauma, it’s also important to know that not only parents are responsible for provoking childhood trauma — our grandparents, brothers, sisters, extended family members, family friends and childhood friends may have also played a part.
Inner child work is a vital component because it reconnects us with a wounded element of ourselves: the child within. When we reconnect with this fragmented part of ourselves, we can begin to discover the root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities and sabotaging life patterns.
How do you know if your past trauma is affecting you deeply right now? Is it connected to your inner child?
These are some signs that you may have a wounded inner child:
You feel that there is something wrong with you, in the deepest parts of yourself.
You experience anxiety when going out of your comfort zone.
You’re a people-pleaser.
You don’t have a strong sense of identity.
You deliberately like being in conflict with people around you.
You’re a hoarder of things, emotions, people, and you have a hard time letting go.
You feel inadequate as a man or a woman.
You constantly criticize yourself for your supposed inadequacy.
You’re unforgiving to yourself, rigid and a perfectionist.
You have a hard time committing and trusting.
You have deep abandonment issues and would cling to relationships, even when they are toxic.
The wounded child in us will be triggered in moments we feel overwhelmed and not able to cope with hurt, grief or anger. It disables the tools we have as an adult to deal with negative situations and make us impulsive and reactive. The wounded child is afraid and confused.
Inner child work is the process of contacting, understanding, embracing and healing your inner child. Your inner child represents your first original self that entered into this world; it contains your capacity to experience wonder, joy, innocence, sensitivity, and playfulness.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that forces us to repress our inner child and “grow up.” But the truth is that while most adults physically “grown-up,” they never quite reach emotional or psychological adulthood. In other words, most “grown-ups” aren’t really adults at all. This leaves most people in a state of puerile fears, angers, and traumas that fester away in the unconscious mind for decades.
When we deny and snuff out the voice of the child within we accumulate heavy psychological baggage. This unexplored and unresolved baggage causes us to experience problems such as mental illnesses, physical ailments, and relationship dysfunction.
In fact, it could be said that the lack of conscious relatedness to our own inner child is one of the major causes of the severe issues we see in today’s society. From the brutal way we treat the environment, to the cruel way we talk to ourselves, we have become completely separated from our original innocence.
Learning to work with your inner child isn’t about becoming childish again, it is about reconnecting with your childLIKE side.
In other words, there is a big difference between being childish and childlike.
Being childish can be thought of as behaving in an immature or naive way. Being childlike on the other hand can be thought of as a state of purity and innocence.
We all have the capacity to experience our original innocence; that period in our lives when we saw the world with openness and wonder.
In order to remove the guilt, shame, fear, hatred, self-loathing and anger that we carry with us, we have to heal the child within through love and self-nurturing.
The healing of the inner child:
Go through old photo albums and rediscover what your younger self looked like. Let that image be burned into your brain because it will serve you well throughout the rest of your inner child work. You might even like to put photos of yourself next to your bedside table, in your wallet, or around the house just to remind yourself of your inner child’s presence.
Say these words every day to your inner child:
I love you.
I hear you.
I’m sorry.
Thank you.
I forgive you.
You can also write this to your inner child, a journal works very well, you can ask a question to your inner child and write down the response.
Sit down and think about what you loved to do as a child. Maybe you liked climbing trees, playing with toy blocks, cuddling toy bears or eating warm porridge. Make time to include whatever activity you loved to do as a child in your present life.
Through inner child work, you connect to sides of yourself that you have long forgotten. This discovery is truly life-changing. It’s important that you make a habit of this “playtime” and explore any embarrassment or silliness you feel towards it. It’s completely normal to feel a bit foolish at first, but it’s important to keep an open mind.
When you feel good invite your inner child to witness the good things in your life, the beauty, share what makes you happy.
Find some inner child meditations and visualizations on youtube and play them.
It is important to visualize a safe space for you and your inner child and hug and cuddle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8779P4rim80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_bAQi0Yr68
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFkR7CjVd9U
Through inner child work, you can learn to grieve, heal and resolve any sources of trauma you’ve been unconsciously holding on to for years. This can liberate you and allow you to live a life of true adulthood, emotional balance, and wellbeing.
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