Mindful Thought: Gratitude and Self-Love

Gratitude and Self-Love

Today we look at gratefulness and how it is intertwined with self-love.

When you take a minute to look at how much you have accomplished, for yourself or others, you feel empowered, efficient. Often, we tend to focus on the failures, or negative experiences in our lives. 

When you were little, you may have been led to believe things about yourself by your parents, family members, school, friends, religion, culture, …and you may have decided to adopt those things as truth. Some of those things may be have been positive; others were negative.

And so, you have gathered evidence that affects your ability to show gratitude and self-love. That evidence may be real. It may be false.

Often, we feel guilt, shame–and think about what we should have done. We dwell on what’s missing, or what could have been, or how we should look, or what we should have said…

Learning how to be grateful for the good things in your life can help reverse that trend and put you on a path toward self-love and a more positive outlook on life. 

Gratitude is a huge help with any stress in your life. You may be five minutes late for work every day, no matter how hard you try, but you can be thankful for the fact that your boss values your contributions to your job enough to overlook something that might be grounds for dismissal for someone else. And in times of trauma, gratitude is a huge coping method. Even though you may have just suffered a mighty blow to your life, being grateful that things could have been worse, and that you are still alive to see another day, is an effective way to draw your focus away from the negative, and eventually adjust and move on.

Be thankful for yourself!

Being happy with who you are is something to be thankful for in and of itself. So many people walk around every day, upset with themselves because of something arbitrary, and it is usually something they could change. Being grateful for yourself is the cornerstone of self-love; the more you are able to develop your sense of self-love, the more you will be able to be grateful for what is around you, and vice versa.

If you have a people-pleasing personality, you may find it hard at first to put your own thoughts and feelings before others, but the more you make yourself aware of yourself, the easier it will be to learn self-love, and to be thankful for it.

Appreciating yourself helps you build your self-esteem and self-worth as well. And all of these things combine to help you create a positive body image, as well as a positive inner sense of self. Being grateful for your body can really help when you’re sick or injured. It might also just give you the added jolt you need to appreciate your life, despite facing a current downturn.

Naming the things about ourselves that we’re grateful for, or choosing to do things differently because we have the power to see ourselves as perfect, innocent, and capable of change is a good choice. You are worthy. You are good enough, You are perfect. Curious about how to get to a place where you can say all those things to yourself and believe them? 

Tomorrow I will teach you little tasks to help you feel acceptance, appreciation and gratefulness for yourself ♥

Mindful Thoughts Gratitude pt3

Practicing gratitude can be a game-changer: it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. And that is what I want to bring to your attention today: gratitude towards others, lovers, partners, family and friends. 

Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins — like the bus showing up right on time, a stranger holding the door for you, or the sun shining through your window when you wake up in the morning. Each of these small moments string together to create a web of well-being that, over time, strengthens our ability to notice the good.

Hydonic Adaptation (fancy term for getting used to something) and negativity bias undermine our lives but also our long term relationships, we take each other for granted, we get bored, complacency.  We focus on the negative events in our lives and relationships.

Gratitude is the antidote.

Moments of gratitude help us recognize the value in our partners and friends—and a valuable partner is worth holding onto. In a number of studies researchers found this to be true, when we feel more appreciative than usual of our partners, they also report more feelings of commitment.

Gratitude has long-term consequences: The more grateful we are, the more committed we are over time. Feelings of gratitude are tied to the motivation to maintain a relationship.

Being motivated to stay in a relationship is only part of the story. We also need to act on that motivation. And gratitude is valuable here as well: experiencing gratitude also promotes behaviors that help us hold onto our relationships.

We are more thoughtful and responsive to others’ needs on days when we feel grateful for them.

We are more caring and attentive listeners during discussions—a key for promoting intimacy in relationships.  Gratitude helps us gain and maintain that intimacy. 

When we work to maintain the relationship our partner feels appreciated and 

this is where the good stuff happens. Recognizing you have a valuable partner and acting accordingly can help your partner feel more valued. 

We  signal those feelings through more caring and attentive behavior—for instance, by asking clarifying questions of our partner when he or she is discussing a problem. This has profound effects.

Now to complete the circle, an appreciated partner is a grateful partner

On days when they feel more appreciated by us, they experience increases in their own feelings of gratitude. And this makes sense: What partner is more valuable than one who clearly values you?

And this is where the benefits of gratitude really take off. So now, both partners are focused on maintaining the relationship. In this way, that first moment of gratitude can spark an ongoing cycle of gratitude and generosity ♥

One to watch: Saying "Thank You" Improves Relationships

Minisode: Grateful-ology is not a real word...

Dann sent this to me today..

'As a friend of a friend's hairdresser once said: "it's hard to be hateful with a plateful of grateful." Is it? In this pre-holidays quickie episode, Alie is grumpy as hell and decides to research the neuroscience of gratitude. Does it work? Who's studying it? Does she need to buy a journal? Find out how jotting down things you don't hate on the back of a receipt or opening a secret Twitter account may be worth more than whatever you get in your office Secret Santa exchange.'

Listen here ♥