Mindful Thoughts Gratitude pt3

Practicing gratitude can be a game-changer: it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. And that is what I want to bring to your attention today: gratitude towards others, lovers, partners, family and friends. 

Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins — like the bus showing up right on time, a stranger holding the door for you, or the sun shining through your window when you wake up in the morning. Each of these small moments string together to create a web of well-being that, over time, strengthens our ability to notice the good.

Hydonic Adaptation (fancy term for getting used to something) and negativity bias undermine our lives but also our long term relationships, we take each other for granted, we get bored, complacency.  We focus on the negative events in our lives and relationships.

Gratitude is the antidote.

Moments of gratitude help us recognize the value in our partners and friends—and a valuable partner is worth holding onto. In a number of studies researchers found this to be true, when we feel more appreciative than usual of our partners, they also report more feelings of commitment.

Gratitude has long-term consequences: The more grateful we are, the more committed we are over time. Feelings of gratitude are tied to the motivation to maintain a relationship.

Being motivated to stay in a relationship is only part of the story. We also need to act on that motivation. And gratitude is valuable here as well: experiencing gratitude also promotes behaviors that help us hold onto our relationships.

We are more thoughtful and responsive to others’ needs on days when we feel grateful for them.

We are more caring and attentive listeners during discussions—a key for promoting intimacy in relationships.  Gratitude helps us gain and maintain that intimacy. 

When we work to maintain the relationship our partner feels appreciated and 

this is where the good stuff happens. Recognizing you have a valuable partner and acting accordingly can help your partner feel more valued. 

We  signal those feelings through more caring and attentive behavior—for instance, by asking clarifying questions of our partner when he or she is discussing a problem. This has profound effects.

Now to complete the circle, an appreciated partner is a grateful partner

On days when they feel more appreciated by us, they experience increases in their own feelings of gratitude. And this makes sense: What partner is more valuable than one who clearly values you?

And this is where the benefits of gratitude really take off. So now, both partners are focused on maintaining the relationship. In this way, that first moment of gratitude can spark an ongoing cycle of gratitude and generosity ♥

One to watch: Saying "Thank You" Improves Relationships