Sunday, August 30, 2020

Kindness Club: Dr. Kristin Neff's talk on Self-Compassion

"When the sunshine of loving kindness meets the tears of suffering, the rainbow of compassion appears." 

Compassion is feeling the suffering of others, being open to their pain. But expressing compassion to ourselves might be something new to many of us. When we are self-compassionate, we treat ourselves in the same way we would a loved one who is suffering. When we practice self-compassion, we realize we are not a bad person, we are simply a person who sometimes makes mistakes or has poor judgment. When we practice self-compassion, it is safe to make mistakes, and easier to own up to them. 

Kristin offered this practice when facing a difficult situation: 

Close your eyes 

Put your hands over your heart 

Say, I am struggling right now 

Say, Suffering is a part of life. It is part of our common humanity. It is natural to have things like this happen in the course of one’s life. I am not alone.
 
Say, I am imperfect and that’s okay. I accept myself for who I am. 

Say, may I be kind to myself. Repeat as many times as necessary until you feel a calmness in your body. 

Say, I’m sorry this is so hard for you. Im here for you. What can I do to help? (What would you say to a friend who was having the same issue? What tone of voice would you have? Say something similar to yourself.) 

Say, I love you. 

Kristin Neff has some great resources to offer, including a quiz you can take to determine how self-compassionate you are on her website: https://self-compassion.org/



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