Compassion is feeling the suffering of others, being open to their pain. But expressing compassion to ourselves might be something new to many of us. When we are self-compassionate, we treat ourselves in the same way we would a loved one who is suffering. When we practice self-compassion, we realize we are not a bad person, we are simply a person who sometimes makes mistakes or has poor judgment. When we practice self-compassion, it is safe to make mistakes, and easier to own up to them.
Kristin offered this practice when facing a difficult situation:
Close your eyes
Put your hands over your heart
Say, I am struggling right now
Say, Suffering is a part of life. It is part of our common humanity. It is natural to have things like this happen in the course of one’s life. I am not alone.
Say, I am imperfect and that’s okay. I accept myself for who I am.
Say, may I be kind to myself. Repeat as many times as necessary until you feel a calmness in your body.
Say, I’m sorry this is so hard for you. Im here for you. What can I do to help? (What would you say to a friend who was having the same issue? What tone of voice would you have? Say something similar to yourself.)
Say, I love you.
Kristin Neff has some great resources to offer, including a quiz you can take to determine how self-compassionate you are on her website: https://self-compassion.org/
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