Mindful Thought: Gratitude part 3

 

Practicing gratitude can be a game-changer: it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. And that is what I want to bring to your attention today: gratitude towards others, lovers, partners, family and friends. 

Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins — like the bus showing up right on time, a stranger holding the door for you, or the sun shining through your window when you wake up in the morning. Each of these small moments string together to create a web of well-being that, over time, strengthens our ability to notice the good.

Hydonic Adaptation (fancy term for getting used to something) and negativity bias undermine our lives but also our long term relationships, we take each other for granted, we get bored, complacency.  We focus on the negative events in our lives and relationships.

Gratitude is the antidote.

Moments of gratitude help us recognize the value in our partners and friends—and a valuable partner is worth holding onto. In a number of studies researchers found this to be true, when we feel more appreciative than usual of our partners, they also report more feelings of commitment.

Gratitude has long-term consequences: The more grateful we are, the more committed we are over time. Feelings of gratitude are tied to the motivation to maintain a relationship.

Being motivated to stay in a relationship is only part of the story. We also need to act on that motivation. And gratitude is valuable here as well: experiencing gratitude also promotes behaviors that help us hold onto our relationships.

We are more thoughtful and responsive to others’ needs on days when we feel grateful for them.

We are more caring and attentive listeners during discussions—a key for promoting intimacy in relationships.  Gratitude helps us gain and maintain that intimacy. 

When we work to maintain the relationship our partner feels appreciated and 

this is where the good stuff happens. Recognizing you have a valuable partner and acting accordingly can help your partner feel more valued. 

We  signal those feelings through more caring and attentive behavior—for instance, by asking clarifying questions of our partner when he or she is discussing a problem. This has profound effects.

Now to complete the circle, an appreciated partner is a grateful partner

On days when they feel more appreciated by us, they experience increases in their own feelings of gratitude. And this makes sense: What partner is more valuable than one who clearly values you?

And this is where the benefits of gratitude really take off. So now, both partners are focused on maintaining the relationship. In this way, that first moment of gratitude can spark an ongoing cycle of gratitude and generosity ♥

One to watch: Saying "Thank You" Improves Relationships

Mindful Thought: Gratitude pt2

 

This week is about gratefulness, one important pillar of Mindfulness.

There is no doubt that personal happiness is directly correlated to gratefulness, it’s the driving force of true happiness. Becoming thankful doesn’t just make you a happier person, it literally boosts your immune system, lowers blood pressure, decreases depression, improves your love life, and gives you more patience in enduring times. And you will spark joy in the lives of those around you. 

Gratitude confirms your loved ones importance for you. 

I do not want to ramble a lot of scientific facts (and there are a lot) so we focus on little exercises. Yesterday I gave you the Thank you texture to share, I added it in the notecard I will give you so you have always access to it to use and share it.

I had some really sweet reactions and comments sending it out to my Second Life friends. Bet you had the same experience?

Let's make this a once a week schedule to let those important to us we are grateful for their love and friendship 

A little task to do: when you wake up in the morning, before getting out of bed take a minute to think of something you are grateful

for. Something little or something big. It puts you in the right state of mind to start your day and it is a very easy practice that quickly becomes a habit.

I want to share with you this Ted talk from David Steindl-Rast

Dan Harris wrote this book 10% Happier and in a podcast coined this idea The ABC of gratefulness

The practice is simple and soothing, and a great thing to do when you’re tossing and turning in bed. As you go to sleep, go through the alphabet and say one thing for each letter that you’re grateful for. It can be something or someone big and powerful, or something as simple and stupid as the coffee you had in the morning. I especially enjoy the little ones because it reminds us how important and overlooked the little things are.

A — Thank you for Alexander, my husband, who loves and care for me.

B — Thank you for my Brother, always there to support me.

C — Thank you for my Car, getting me from point A to point B

Z — I’d be shocked if you make it to Z before falling asleep 😴

Mindful Thought: Gratitude pt 1

 “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust

Gratitude sharpens our attention for the good and the positive in our lives, which helps us appreciate things that we tend to take for granted. 

We express gratitude by saying “thank you” to someone who has helped us or given us a gift. 

From a scientific perspective gratitude is not just an action: it is also a positive emotion that serves a biological purpose. We acknowledge the care of others. 

Scientists can actually measure the effect that gratitude is more than feeling thankful: it is a deeper appreciation for someone (or something) that produces a longer lasting positivity.  It increases the level of happiness and improves our well being. In other words it is good for us to be grateful.

Think of someone with whom you have shared happy moments or someone who has supported you and been there for you. Send them this Thank You card, you can change the name of the texture to make it personal and you can send it to as many people as you want. You can even save it to your harddisk and send to people in your rl.

Thank you for reading this! Thank you for being you!

Netflix’s ‘The Social Dilemma’: The unfair fight of The People vs The Algorithm

 Making waves online for its subliminal messaging, ‘The Social Dilemma’ features whistle blowers who worked for the greedy Internet companies accused of ‘tech-xploitation of bio-power’

There is a ‘now you see it, now you don’t’ scene in The Social Dilemma, where former Google design ethicist and product philosopher Tristan Harris does a vanishing coin trick. It comes about 20 minutes into the film but it is quite a metaphor for the entire arc of the documentary. Social media is always going to be a dozen steps ahead of you, even when you think you may have cracked the formula for social networking.

As most of the world continues to be home-bound, Netflix has placed audiences in the ultimate social dilemma by streaming The Social Dilemma, the latest documentary from Jeff Orlowski. In the past six months, the OTT giant has put out a plethora of documentaries on the Internet problem, so what is so different with this one that people all over the world are hyperventilating? Answer: All those swirling facts about surveillance, data collection, algorithmic power and addiction have solid corroboration straight from the people who not only worked at these companies but even helped start them or catalyse their growth. In the roughly 90-minute film, a handful of former employees of Twitter, Google, Apple, Facebook, Uber, Instagram and more recount their ethical concerns over the shifting tides of social media and power. As expected, audiences share in the discomfort of these confessionals which appear to be PSAs of sorts.

The Social Dilemma stresses that we have subverted to a lifetime of voluntary servitude online, because — especially now — it is our primary means of connection. It confronts audiences with the reality that future generations are essentially born to only be sent down a rabbit hole that is both addictive and isolating, thanks to features such as ‘doom scrolling’ — formerly known as the euphemistic ‘infinite scrolling.’ continue reading...

-Divya Kala Bhavani for The Hindu

Mindful Thought: Thoughts pt4

 

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” 

Very famous words of Lao Tzu, a Chinese philosopher and the founder of Taoism

An average person has about 15,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive thoughts.

If we repeat those negative thoughts, we think negative way more than we think positive thoughts.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapists have a term for it — ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts).

All negative thoughts are not bad. Being alert can help you survive but most negative thoughts are useless. They only create imaginary drama in your mind.

Today I will give you an exercise to break these thinking patterns.

1. Get yourself a notebook or a writing software on your pc or smartphone

2. Make one column with:

 - your fears

 - your insecurities

 - your losses

 - things that stress you out regularly 

 - things that irritate you about other people

 

 3. Make another column or a separate list:

 

 Now, for every negative thought, write at least one positive thought:

 

- Write about what you are proud of or grateful for 

- If you’re insecure about your skills, write how much you’ve improved since you started.

- If you’ve lost a relationship in the past, write about the beautiful time you spent with each other.

- If you stress about work, write how your work is bringing positive things to other people.

- If you don’t like your coworker’s behavior, write one positive thing about that person.

Writing these thoughts down will make it become part of your thinking process. Whenever you think of a negative thought, counter it with a positive one.

Shifting perspective sounds easy. But it’s not.

It takes practice.

Make it a habit. Give yourself this challenge to balance your thoughts.

The aim is to make this habit part of your subconscious. Once it has become part of your thinking process, you will shift your perspective.

We live in either of the two mental states — A beautiful state or a suffering state.

A beautiful state is when you feel love, joy, gratitude, awe, playfulness, ease, creativity, drive, caring, growth, curiosity or appreciation.

A suffering state is when you feel stressed out, worried, frustrated, angry, depressed, irritable, overwhelmed, resentful or fearful.

To become aware you have negative thoughts set an alarm on your smartphone a few times a day or hang up post-its in your work space, mirror, car etc. So you get reminded to check your thinking patterns. 

We can practice being optimistic, make the effort and better the quality of our life that way ♥

♥ Connect with Us ♥

In life, we make all sorts of connections, and in these unusal times, we have all had to get more creative with how we connect with our communities - whether those be family, friends or those in our virtual world. What a privilege that our modern society already had in place all the wonderful technology of social media, video conferencing, text messaging, phones, and emails so that we can still connect while isolating and distancing for safety. 

The Center for Mindfulness invites you to connect with us! Here are some ways: 

1. Join our inworld group if you haven't already done so!

 

2. Attend our classes and programs, and stay afterwards to meet new people. 

Landmark for Center.

3. Chat with us anytime from anywhere by joining our Discord channel.

4.  Join us on Facebook!  Center for Mindfulness SL and feel free to share our posts with all your friends :)

5.  Check our blog posts every day!  Keep up to date with new classes, events, our favorite videos and happy ramblings ♥

6.  Post a pic to our Flickr group!

7.  Add our calendar to yours!  

Thank you for your kind support. It means so much to all of us.  

New Class Coming! Qigong Small Universe Meditation

 The Center for Mindfulness SL is happy to announce a new class on Tuesdays from1-2pm (beginning September 22nd) called Qigong Small Universe Meditation.  We welcome the return of our good friend and former mentor, Cythe who has graciously agreed to teach this class.  Cythe has been practicing and leading qigong for over ten years and we are happy to have her onboard!

Cythe explains Qigong Small Universe Meditation:

Qigong is a modernized form of qigong with simple, effective movements and meditations developed by Qigong Master Chunyi Lin. It can help you increase your energy and improve your physical, mental, and spiritual health. 

Qigong teaches that the underlying cause of any health problem is an energy blockage; remove the blockage and healing can occur. Using effective breathing, healing sounds and visualizations as you move energy, this mediation helps to clear energy blockages along the two most important channels in the body, the front and back channels. These sounds are powerful because their vibrations can reach every corner of the body to clear blockages. 

We have many energy channels and energy centers in our bodies. When energy starts at one point, visits all the channels and centers in the body, and comes back to the starting point, we have what is translated from Chinese ancient wisdom as a “big universe.” 

The most important channels are the back and front channels in the torso. When energy starts at one point on those channels, visits all the parts of the system, and comes back to the starting point we have what is called a “small universe.”

The back governing channel of yang male energy channels in the body starts at the lower dantian area, which is deep behind the navel. It goes down to the bottom of the torso, travels up along the spine to the top of the head, and comes down from the middle of the forehead stopping at the roof of the mouth. The front channel of yin female energy channels also starts from the lower dantian area, goes down to the bottom of the torso, travels up the body passing through the heart and throat stopping under the tongue.

These two channels control and influence the other channels in the body. Nearly all of the important energy centers are arranged along the back and front channels. As a result, energy blockages in the heart energy center could cause heart, lung, breast, chest or intelligence problems. A blockage in the tailbone could cause reproductive organ problems, low sexual energy, and headaches. A blockage in the cervical bone #7 of the spinal cord could cause headaches, fever, diabetes, and lung and heart problems.

The small universe mediation is the easiest mediation technique to open these two important channels.

Qigong has been found to be beneficial to helping improve health and wellness, and researchers often recommend further research.

The Kindness Club: Breaking the Spell of Negative Emotions

Today we enjoyed a video called, "Breaking the Spell of Negative Emotions," by Sam Harris.  Anna has been talking to us about thoughts and mindfulness recently, and this fit nicely into that program.  

Sam Harris is a well-known author with a degree in philosophy from Stanford University and a Ph.D. in neuroscience from UCLA. He has practiced meditation for more than 30 years and has studied with many Tibetan, Indian, Burmese, and Western meditation teachers, both in the United States and abroad.

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WEEKEND ZEN: Foster Connection and Compassion with Yourself and Others

 Some narrations from within the video:  

 “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” ― Plato 

    In a world where sometimes we suffer in isolation, make the choice to cultivate kindness, connection, and compassion. Today, make this choice to connect with and build the qualities of compassion and kindness during your meditation so it will carry over into all the activities of your day. Every moment, every behavior, we have the choice, so choose kindness. 

    While we are not personally in each other's presence, know I am sending my loving energy your way. Know that you are not alone. I am here for you and others all over the world are practicing with you and supporting you on your journey as you are doing for them as well. As I am writing and recording this meditation, I am thinking of each one of you and sending you positive energy with the intention of connecting.

 

Mindful Thought: Thoughts pt3

 Today as like a little chunk of scientific information, I want to avoid that as much as possible, on the other hand it is important to know how thoughts arise because once you know those facts it takes away a lot of their power 😀

Imagine this:

You buy a new blouse, walk around feeling all lit and getting many many compliments. Then someone makes a snarky comment and poof all good comments are gone and you no longer feel proud of your blouse... there is a big chance you never wear it again. 

Or 

You need a medical procedure and the doctor tells you 70% success rate, good right?

What if he told you: 30% chance of things going wrong? Try to get that one out of your head ! :P

It is almost impossible to turn your head when you become aware of the negative outcomes.

So why do we have this negativity bias? 

It is wired in our brain for survival! Not so long ago we needed this to stay alive!

Let's take a look where this is coming from:

We have the base of your brain, the cerebellum, Let's refer to it as the "lizard brain." You might be wondering, "What do I have in common with a lizard?" Well, all the basic functions to stay alive: Reflexive behaviors, muscle control, balance, breathing, heartbeat, feeding/digestion, and reproduction.

Our mamalian brain  (the limbic brain: amygdala and hypothalamus ) maps out safety and danger, it stores where and when to activate the lizard brain for fight, flight and freeze response. It has no concept of time or logic. This explains why your dog (a mammal) may greet you as though you've been gone for 30 years, instead of 30 minutes. 

Past, present and future are all one. Here trauma is stored and it explains why traumatized people relive the past as if it happens today.

Next to that we have the newer part of our brain: the frontal cortex 

here more complex functions are implicated: cognitive behavior, personality expression, social behavior, certain aspects of speech and language, internal goals, creativity

and imagination. 

Here the orchestration of thoughts happens!

Now if it would only be influenced by that part of the brain our thoughts would make sense and be logically mostly, sadly in the untrained mind the little maniac in our head 

is mostly driven by the  lizard and mamalian brain.  It uses the tools of fear and anger and then applies to that the wonderful skill of our newest part of the brain: imagination, the possibility to ruminate on the past and worry about the future. Your mind loves to exaggerate, give you many different versions of what could go wrong and prefers to let you imagine the worst case scenario. 

This is why when you are having a bad day or feeling down it is always associated with thoughts.

Remember the exercise we did yesterday?

It shows how easily our mind drags us through all kinds of different emotions and feelings just by thinking. 

Should you stop thinking then? 

How wonderful it would be if we just could do that, be a zebra and graze on the savanna. 

We get from 15000 to 70000 thoughts a day and there is no way to stop this.

But what we can do is not let those thoughts affect us. 

Become aware of your thinking, of your negative thinking. 

Just see them as thoughts, observe them unravel and then being replaced by yet another thought... 

The 'untrained' mind is what the Buddhists call the monkey mind as it jumps from one tree to another. Becoming aware of our thought patterns and

recognizing them is how we 'train' our mind, and we will practice this together! 

Tomorrow more on this ♥

Mindful Thoughts: Mindfulness Thoughts pt2

 

Today we explore further on thoughts and the internal dialog with a small exercise...

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and call to mind someone or something that is very dear to you, someone you love, your spouse or partner, your child or your pet or a friend...

And picture them smiling and happy. 

Notice how you are smiling in your mind, perhaps even a real smile appears on your face...

Notice how it colors your mind.

Now imagine someone or something that you do not like, and notice how it triggers anger, anxiety, regret or

grief. Notice the spectrum of thoughts and sensations changing...  This also colors your mind

Now think of something you are hoping for some time, imagine you have it or it already happened, feel that happiness and joy. Picture how grateful you are. And again notice how this colors your mind.

You can see how thoughts color your mind. How in this short time you can experience many different sensations, and this does not happen only because of me asking you.  It is happening all the time and is something you can practice on your own. 

What appears when thinking, are merely states of energy, an energy that is easily changed when your mind changes focus. 

Our practice for tomorrow; when you find yourself lost in thoughts and they are negative and coloring your mind,  just accept them and observe them as the thought itself, the state of energy.

And notice as soon as you explore that experience how quickly it loses power. 

New at the Center: Tao of Flexibility with RekoVanom

 

Every Thursday at 3pm SLT RekoVanom will host Tao of Flexibility, he will guide us in voice through a series of stretch exercises accompanied by music and informative videos and meditation.

Time to slide these chairs to the side and start stretching! 

I include here the information notecard with detailed insight on stretching and the different exercises. We gonna be in good hands! 

Why You Should Stretch:

Here are the most important reasons why a flexibility program should be a part of your exercise routine:

- Stretching improves health and fitness. When combined with proper strength training methods and aerobic cardiovascular workouts such as running, stretching provides a valuable addition necessary for total fitness.

- Stretching reduces the risk of injuries. Most everyday injuries and athletic injuries are caused either by trauma (e.g. a fall or impact with another individual) or by overextending a joint, muscle or connective tissue which results in muscle pulls, sprains and strains. People who follow regular and progressive stretching programs suffer at least 50 percent fewer overextension injuries than those who do not.

- Stretching is a good warm-up and cool-down for other types of training sessions. In addition a stretching program improves neuromuscular coordination and when performed immediately after your workout, stretching will prevent soreness and promote faster physiological recovery.

- When done correctly stretching is enjoyable! Have you ever awakened in the morning and were still in bed, slowly stretched your entire body? It felt great, did it not? In fact various stretches can be performed before you get out of bed in the morning. It is a great way to prepare your body to face the day ahead!

When to Stretch:

Anyone interested in improving his or her flexibility should stretch every day for at least 10 to 15 minutes. If you can manage it, stretching three to four times per week will gradually improve your joint and muscle flexibility and daily stretching will increase your flexibility even more dramatically.

Mindful Thoughts: Mindfulness Thoughts pt1

Thoughts...

When you sit down to meditate, a stream of thoughts distracts you, thoughts about the past, thoughts about the future, thoughts about things you worry, thoughts about things you want or don't want.  As soon as you attempt to put your attention on your breath you will meet your mind and your mind is the most rambling, chaotic, needling,  insulting, insufferable person you will ever meet and you are completely identified with this internal dialog. It's like some maniac walks through the front door of your house and follows you around from room to room and refuses to stop talking and this happens every day of your life. This voice is predominately unhappy, so it generates an  enormous amount of unhappiness. 

 The most important thing that happens with mindfulness is the moment you can separate from that internal voice, no longer identify with the constant stream of thinking. Awakening. Wake up out of the stream of thoughts. And when you wake up, you become present and a completely different dimension of consciousness is suddenly there. 

It is a true breakthrough when you realize here is my thinking, here are all the importune thoughts I've been having, habitual thoughts, repetitive thoughts, very often recurring negative thoughts, here I am knowing that these thoughts are going through my head.

The identification breaks,  you stop identifying with the stream of thinking. 

You recognize thoughts for what they are: mere appearances in consciousness, images, bits of language.

That is why the language used is awakening. Wake up out of the stream of thoughts. And when you wake up, you become present and a completely different dimension of consciousness is suddenly there. 

Another sense of self, deeper than thinking, inside of you, a stillness, an aware presence. Just that.

Now a thought that arises does not give it a necessary claim upon your life, it does not need not to have any implications, good or bad, it is just a thought.

You will always continue to think and be moved to act by thoughts but meditation gives you a choice.

You really want to follow this next thought wherever it leads?

 

The Kindness Club: Somatic Breathing

 On Monday, we enjoyed a video called, "Somatic Meditation" by Dr. Raymond Ray who taught us a practice called Twelve Fold Lower Belly Breathing.  He showed us how the lower belly is our core and the universal life source we share with our fellow beings.  

WEEKEND ZEN: Peace During the Pandemic- Coronavirus/ COVID-19 Guided Meditation

 Some narrations from within the video:

At this point we all have a deep understanding of fear and sacrifice. We all know what it feels like to be alone and afraid. Perhaps these emotions are stemming from something deeper. Perhaps our fear and sadness are a result of feeling powerless. Many of us do not yet understand the power that lies within us, the change we can insight, and the transformation just waiting for us at the other end of this pandemic.

Before anything else, we must acknowledge where we feel powerless. If we want to transform and heal, we must first accept where we are in pain. What part of this pandemic is the most stressful for you? Where do you feel a lack of control? Acknowledge how that makes you feel… Breathe deeply. In this moment, just be, with your feelings of powerlessness.

What we once knew as normal is changing. Shifting. Transforming. How is this an opportunity to transform? … How are you willing to shift?

Our world is evolving. This experience is transformative for each and every person individually. And we're all connected. Linked. Intertwined. Thus, this will change our world.

·        Be aware of how resilient you have been in this time.

·        Be aware of how resilient your community has been at this time.

·        Be aware of how resilient each person has been in this time.

Within the world there are the communities. Within the communities there are the individuals. And within each individual there is such power and compassion. Power to incite change. To grow and shift. To transform. Even in the most painful situations.