Mindful thoughts: countering negative thoughts

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” 

Very famous words of Lao Tzu, a Chinese philosopher and the founder of Taoism

An average person has about 15,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive thoughts.

If we repeat those negative thoughts, we think negative way more than we think positive thoughts.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapists have a term for it — ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts).

All negative thoughts are not bad. Being alert can help you survive but most negative thoughts are useless. They only create imaginary drama in your mind.

Today I will give you an exercise to break these thinking patterns.

1. Get yourself a notebook or a writing software on your pc or smartphone

2. Make one column with:

 - your fears

 - your insecurities

 - your losses

 - things that stress you out regularly 

 - things that irritate you about other people

 

 3. Make another column or a separate list:

 

 Now, for every negative thought, write at least one positive thought:

 

- Write about what you are proud of or grateful for 

- If you’re insecure about your skills, write how much you’ve improved since you started.

- If you’ve lost a relationship in the past, write about the beautiful time you spent with each other.

- If you stress about work, write how your work is bringing positive things to other people.

- If you don’t like your coworker’s behavior, write one positive thing about that person.

Writing these thoughts down will make it become part of your thinking process. Whenever you think of a negative thought, counter it with a positive one.

Shifting perspective sounds easy. But it’s not.

It takes practice.

Make it a habit. Give yourself this challenge to balance your thoughts.

The aim is to make this habit part of your subconscious. Once it has become part of your thinking process, you will shift your perspective.

We live in either of the two mental states — A beautiful state or a suffering state.

A beautiful state is when you feel love, joy, gratitude, awe, playfulness, ease, creativity, drive, caring, growth, curiosity or appreciation.

A suffering state is when you feel stressed out, worried, frustrated, angry, depressed, irritable, overwhelmed, resentful or fearful.

To become aware you have negative thoughts set an alarm on your smartphone a few times a day or hang up post-its in your work space, mirror, car etc. So you get reminded to check your thinking patterns. 

We can practice being optimistic, make the effort and better the quality of our life that way ♥

Wait but Why? The Story of us...

Wait But Why is the ultimate in internet long reads. Created by writer and illustrator Tim Urban, it is known for diving deep into meaty topics. These range from a series of posts on Elon Musk – including a closer look at brain-machine interface company Neuralink – to ones that wonder why we haven’t met any extra-terrestrial life forms, given the probability of the existence of alien civilizations.

Urban’s latest series of posts tell the story of modern society: how we balance our animal selves with our social selves, how tribes and communities form, how people are governed, how concepts of censorship and free speech emerged. Start reading here

Mindful thoughts: Negativity Bias

Today as like a little chunk of scientific information, I want to avoid that as much as possible, on the other hand it is important to know how thoughts arise because once you know those facts it takes away a lot of their power 😀

Imagine this:

You buy a new blouse, walk around feeling all lit and getting many many compliments. Then someone makes a snarky comment and poof all good comments are gone and you no longer feel proud of your blouse... there is a big chance you never wear it again. 

Or 

You need a medical procedure and the doctor tells you 70% success rate, good right?

What if he told you: 30% chance of things going wrong? Try to get that one out of your head ! :P

It is almost impossible to turn your head when you become aware of the negative outcomes.

So why do we have this negativity bias? 

It is wired in our brain for survival! Not so long ago we needed this to stay alive!

Let's take a look where this is coming from:

We have the base of your brain, the cerebellum, Let's refer to it as the "lizard brain." You might be wondering, "What do I have in common with a lizard?" Well, all the basic functions to stay alive: Reflexive behaviors, muscle control, balance, breathing, heartbeat, feeding/digestion, and reproduction.

Our mamalian brain  (the limbic brain: amygdala and hypothalamus ) maps out safety and danger, it stores where and when to activate the lizard brain for fight, flight and freeze response. It has no concept of time or logic. This explains why your dog (a mammal) may greet you as though you've been gone for 30 years, instead of 30 minutes. 

Past, present and future are all one. Here trauma is stored and it explains why traumatized people relive the past as if it happens today.

Next to that we have the newer part of our brain: the frontal cortex 

here more complex functions are implicated: cognitive behavior, personality expression, social behavior, certain aspects of speech and language, internal goals, creativity

and imagination. 

Here the orchestration of thoughts happens!

Now if it would only be influenced by that part of the brain our thoughts would make sense and be logically mostly, sadly in the untrained mind the little maniac in our head 

is mostly driven by the  lizard and mamalian brain.  It uses the tools of fear and anger and then applies to that the wonderful skill of our newest part of the brain: imagination, the possibility to ruminate on the past and worry about the future. Your mind loves to exaggerate, give you many different versions of what could go wrong and prefers to let you imagine the worst case scenario. 

This is why when you are having a bad day or feeling down it is always associated with thoughts.

Remember the exercise we did yesterday?

It shows how easily our mind drags us through all kinds of different emotions and feelings just by thinking. 

Should you stop thinking then? 

How wonderful it would be if we just could do that, be a zebra and graze on the savanna. 

We get from 15000 to 70000 thoughts a day and there is no way to stop this.

But what we can do is not let those thoughts affect us. 

Become aware of your thinking, of your negative thinking. 

Just see them as thoughts, observe them unravel and then being replaced by yet another thought... 

The 'untrained' mind is what the Buddhists call the monkey mind as it jumps from one tree to another. Becoming aware of our thought patterns and

recognizing them is how we 'train' our mind, and we will practice this together! 

Tomorrow more on this ♥

Mindful Thoughts Tuesday Exercise

Today we explore further on thoughts and the internal dialog with a small exercise...

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and call to mind someone or something that is very dear to you, someone you love, your spouse or partner, your child or your pet or a friend...

And picture them smiling and happy. 

Notice how you are smiling in your mind, perhaps even a real smile appears on your face...

Notice how it colors your mind.

Now imagine someone or something that you do not like, and notice how it triggers anger, anxiety, regret or

grief. Notice the spectrum of thoughts and sensations changing...  This also colors your mind

Now think of something you are hoping for some time, imagine you have it or it already happened, feel that happiness and joy. Picture how grateful you are. And again notice how this colors your mind.

You can see how thoughts color your mind. How in this short time you can experience many different sensations, and this does not happen only because of me asking you.  It is happening all the time and is something you can practice on your own. 

What appears when thinking, are merely states of energy, an energy that is easily changed when your mind changes focus. 

Our practice for tomorrow; when you find yourself lost in thoughts and they are negative and coloring your mind,  just accept them and observe them as the thought itself, the state of energy.

And notice as soon as you explore that experience how quickly it loses power. 

Thank you for practicing with me, it means a lot ♥

Pictures at the Center

Jammy made this beautiful picture... how it captures that still moment. Thank you, sweet friend!

If you have pictures to share of your avatar meditating send them to me ♥

Mr Sandman surprised me with this beauty ♥

Mindful Thoughts July 6

Thoughts...

When you sit down to meditate, a stream of thoughts distracts you, thoughts about the past, thoughts about the future, thoughts about things you worry, thoughts about things you want or don't want.  As soon as you attempt to put your attention on your breath you will meet your mind and your mind is the most rambling, chaotic, needling,  insulting, insufferable person you will ever meet and you are completely identified with this internal dialog. It's like some maniac walks through the front door of your house and follows you around from room to room and refuses to stop talking and this happens every day of your life. This voice is predominately unhappy, so it generates an  enormous amount of unhappiness. 

 The most important thing that happens with mindfulness is the moment you can separate from that internal voice, no longer identify with the constant stream of thinking. Awakening. Wake up out of the stream of thoughts. And when you wake up, you become present and a completely different dimension of consciousness is suddenly there. 

It is a true breakthrough when you realize here is my thinking, here are all the importune thoughts I've been having, habitual thoughts, repetitive thoughts, very often recurring negative thoughts, here I am knowing that these thoughts are going through my head.

The identification breaks,  you stop identifying with the stream of thinking. 

You recognize thoughts for what they are: mere appearances in consciousness, images, bits of language.

That is why the language used is awakening. Wake up out of the stream of thoughts. And when you wake up, you become present and a completely different dimension of consciousness is suddenly there. 

Another sense of self, deeper than thinking, inside of you, a stillness, an aware presence. Just that.

Now a thought that arises does not give it a necessary claim upon your life, it does not need not to have any implications, good or bad, it is just a thought.

You will always continue to think and be moved to act by thoughts but meditation gives you a choice.

You really want to follow this next thought wherever it leads?

Introduction to Mindful Thoughts

What is mindfulness?

Most of you have probably heard of it and have a pretty good idea what it is about. 

The wiki describes it as: 

"the psychological process of bringing one's attention to the internal and external experiences occurring in the present moment, which can be developed through the practice of meditation and other training.

The term "mindfulness" is a translation of the Pali term sati, which is a significant element of some Buddhist traditions. The recent popularity of mindfulness in the West is generally considered to have been initiated by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Large population-based research studies have indicated that the practice of mindfulness is strongly 

correlated with greater well-being and perceived health.

For a few years I used the format of Mindfulness lectures around a theme, for example Mindfulness and emotions, Mindfulness and Relationships etc. The books are based on the lectures of Jon Kabat-Zinn and are still available in Second Life at the Center for Mindfulness. Read more...

Center of Mindfulness Make Over

Hello everyone!  I hope you are all staying safe and mindful during these chaotic times. Having done some recent exploring in SL, I was inspired by the beauty of Island of Pandasia and it has encouraged me to revisit my earlier Kinbaku location, bringing elements of its setting and tranquility to the Center for Mindfulness.  I am also evolving the structure and format of the lectures to be more help in the current environment. The long theoretical lectures are a way of learning things but we all have a lot on our mind and things are more easily forgotten, especially if you get a lot of information at once.

From Monday July 6 I will start with Daily Mindful Thoughts (10-15 min) which will be hints, little exercises and sharing with each other how we are doing, so more interactive. After that we will do the Daily Mindfulness Meditation (10 min), and these will adjust depending on the mood of the day and other factors, and everyone is welcome to attend either or both, as time allows.
It is my hope to make the Center a safe and calming place for people to come to learn, relax and recharge, and also to grow a base group of friends who support each other and progress in the awakening. Teleport here and group here ♥

Eckhart Tolle @Russell Brand

A very deep and insightful interview, although our interviewer is mainly listening in awe here:

Daily meditation 10 min Mindfulness ♥

Every day at 2pm SLT we meditate together for 10 min at the Meditation Pavilion at the Center for Mindfulness.  Thanks Jam for the beautiful picture ♥

Do you ever feel anxious? Watch Russell Brand's take on it....

Eckhart Tolle @Rubin Report

Dave Rubin of The Rubin Report talks to Eckhart Tolle (Author, ‘The Power of Now’ & ‘A New Earth’ ) about his background and experience with anxiety and depression, the essence of mindfulness, consciousness, and all spirituality, his thoughts on how to bring balance to your life, the importance of connecting with your higher self, and more.
Get the book here

Dandapani, a nice motivational message...

Mindfulness Boosts Happiness!

Here is a great article on how practicing mindfulness can help boost your happiness, and we could all use a bit more happiness in our lives!

How Mindfulness Boosts Happiness

Be mindful, be happy, be your best you!
💜Victoria

Sam Harris on Anxiety