The Science Of Why We Talk Too Much

 

Our brains are wired to reward us for talking about ourselves. You probably talk too much. And there is a good reason for that. Science says that humans, being social animals, are programmed to use communication as a vital tool to survive and thrive.

Our favorite subject to discuss is ourselves. People spend 60% of their conversations talking about themselves, 80% when chatting on social media. The reason, researchers found, was that it just feels good. In combination with our dwindling attention spans, which have been measured between as many as 59 seconds, to as few as 8 seconds, thanks to an overload of information from both verbal and digital sources, most of us may enjoy hearing our own voice more than we do listening to what others have to say.

The ideal conversation should be a give and take, with each person speaking about 50% of the time. That means staying quiet half the time.  

Silence is a greatly underestimated source of power. In silence, we can hear not only what is being said, but also what is not being said. In silence, it can be easier to reach the truth. 

However, listening requires discipline. It also involves being in the moment and not merely remaining silent and waiting for one’s turn to speak, it is important to give the other time to speak, to pay attention to what is being said, to stay in the moment and have a genuine, and reflecting engagement with the other. 

We all go through our own troubles and drama and some of us share and can talk openly and others are quiet, it is time for me to learn and be a better listener so I can hear what is being said and hear what is not being said ♥