Mindful Thought: Relationships pt1

Today we start Mindful Thought with the first part of Relationships and Mindfulness.

I want to share this beautiful quote with you first:

“An outstanding love doesn’t come from two half-fulfilled people coming together to make one whole, complete life. Outstanding love comes from two whole people coming together to share and enhance their already full and beautiful lives.” ~Pia Scade

And here I come to a returning theme: self-love. Read here important part on self-love

One of the most important things to start a healthy relationship is to fully understand yourself.

If you don't you will likely enter the relationship from an emotionally dependent place. 

Communicating to your partner about your emotions and sexual side is important; hoping they will

automatically perceive who you are and what you need is a fantasy.  Make a conscious effort to become aware of your emotional reactions to people and events in your life, observe your mind and the narrative. 

Reflect on your feelings and talk about how you feel and what you notice about yourself but without 

expecting someone else to put you back together. 

A partner can’t make you happy, only you can do that and it is not their responsibility to make you happy. If you rely on them for happiness you will drain the space between you, so it is important to make sure you take the responsibility yourself.

Choosing happiness means accepting that the only person you can change is you and not looking to change others, you work on yourself and make sure you meet your own needs.

In loving yourself; you respect yourself, your ideas, wants, flaws and person, enough to not want anything lesser. If you do not treat yourself as important as you expect to be treated, you will not get the respect you deserve! Loving yourself and actually showing it, sends a signal across to a partner and makes them realize that you have standards. When the reality of your standards hit them, they would never want to treat you lesser. 

Forget trying to morph yourself into the perfect match for Mr. (or Ms.) Right. Do not try appearing a certain way to attract love or play the game to entice a partner. Stop pleasing others for the wrong reasons.

Hastened sex to achieve emotional intimacy does not work, it almost never leads to a committed union.

Don't spend time hoping someone will change, it is better to put your energy into growing as a person and

find someone who likes you exactly as you are.

It is common when attracted to someone to want to rationalize their poor behavior. If someone treats you with disrespect or chronically lets you down, take this as data about whom he or she is as a person. If you try to talk with someone and he or she dismisses you or rationalizes mistreatment of you, take this seriously; this may not be a suitable match. If a someone says they are not looking for “anything serious” or they need a lot of “space,” let them go. This person is not in the same place you are and may not want the same things you want. Believe what people communicate about themselves. If they are acting immaturely or disrespectfully, or saying things that hurt you, move on. It is not your job to show someone a better way; it is your job to work on growing as a person.

Always maintain a degree of space and independence.

It is unhealthy to allow someone or a relationship to absorb your identity and to lose yourself as a person. Keep your own rituals, your own activities, and your own friends. Spend a healthy time apart doing your own thing to nurture your soul ♥