Mindful Thought: Thoughts pt3

 Today as like a little chunk of scientific information, I want to avoid that as much as possible, on the other hand it is important to know how thoughts arise because once you know those facts it takes away a lot of their power 😀

Imagine this:

You buy a new blouse, walk around feeling all lit and getting many many compliments. Then someone makes a snarky comment and poof all good comments are gone and you no longer feel proud of your blouse... there is a big chance you never wear it again. 

Or 

You need a medical procedure and the doctor tells you 70% success rate, good right?

What if he told you: 30% chance of things going wrong? Try to get that one out of your head ! :P

It is almost impossible to turn your head when you become aware of the negative outcomes.

So why do we have this negativity bias? 

It is wired in our brain for survival! Not so long ago we needed this to stay alive!

Let's take a look where this is coming from:

We have the base of your brain, the cerebellum, Let's refer to it as the "lizard brain." You might be wondering, "What do I have in common with a lizard?" Well, all the basic functions to stay alive: Reflexive behaviors, muscle control, balance, breathing, heartbeat, feeding/digestion, and reproduction.

Our mamalian brain  (the limbic brain: amygdala and hypothalamus ) maps out safety and danger, it stores where and when to activate the lizard brain for fight, flight and freeze response. It has no concept of time or logic. This explains why your dog (a mammal) may greet you as though you've been gone for 30 years, instead of 30 minutes. 

Past, present and future are all one. Here trauma is stored and it explains why traumatized people relive the past as if it happens today.

Next to that we have the newer part of our brain: the frontal cortex 

here more complex functions are implicated: cognitive behavior, personality expression, social behavior, certain aspects of speech and language, internal goals, creativity

and imagination. 

Here the orchestration of thoughts happens!

Now if it would only be influenced by that part of the brain our thoughts would make sense and be logically mostly, sadly in the untrained mind the little maniac in our head 

is mostly driven by the  lizard and mamalian brain.  It uses the tools of fear and anger and then applies to that the wonderful skill of our newest part of the brain: imagination, the possibility to ruminate on the past and worry about the future. Your mind loves to exaggerate, give you many different versions of what could go wrong and prefers to let you imagine the worst case scenario. 

This is why when you are having a bad day or feeling down it is always associated with thoughts.

Remember the exercise we did yesterday?

It shows how easily our mind drags us through all kinds of different emotions and feelings just by thinking. 

Should you stop thinking then? 

How wonderful it would be if we just could do that, be a zebra and graze on the savanna. 

We get from 15000 to 70000 thoughts a day and there is no way to stop this.

But what we can do is not let those thoughts affect us. 

Become aware of your thinking, of your negative thinking. 

Just see them as thoughts, observe them unravel and then being replaced by yet another thought... 

The 'untrained' mind is what the Buddhists call the monkey mind as it jumps from one tree to another. Becoming aware of our thought patterns and

recognizing them is how we 'train' our mind, and we will practice this together! 

Tomorrow more on this ♥

Mindful Thoughts: Mindfulness Thoughts pt2

 

Today we explore further on thoughts and the internal dialog with a small exercise...

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and call to mind someone or something that is very dear to you, someone you love, your spouse or partner, your child or your pet or a friend...

And picture them smiling and happy. 

Notice how you are smiling in your mind, perhaps even a real smile appears on your face...

Notice how it colors your mind.

Now imagine someone or something that you do not like, and notice how it triggers anger, anxiety, regret or

grief. Notice the spectrum of thoughts and sensations changing...  This also colors your mind

Now think of something you are hoping for some time, imagine you have it or it already happened, feel that happiness and joy. Picture how grateful you are. And again notice how this colors your mind.

You can see how thoughts color your mind. How in this short time you can experience many different sensations, and this does not happen only because of me asking you.  It is happening all the time and is something you can practice on your own. 

What appears when thinking, are merely states of energy, an energy that is easily changed when your mind changes focus. 

Our practice for tomorrow; when you find yourself lost in thoughts and they are negative and coloring your mind,  just accept them and observe them as the thought itself, the state of energy.

And notice as soon as you explore that experience how quickly it loses power. 

New at the Center: Tao of Flexibility with RekoVanom

 

Every Thursday at 3pm SLT RekoVanom will host Tao of Flexibility, he will guide us in voice through a series of stretch exercises accompanied by music and informative videos and meditation.

Time to slide these chairs to the side and start stretching! 

I include here the information notecard with detailed insight on stretching and the different exercises. We gonna be in good hands! 

Why You Should Stretch:

Here are the most important reasons why a flexibility program should be a part of your exercise routine:

- Stretching improves health and fitness. When combined with proper strength training methods and aerobic cardiovascular workouts such as running, stretching provides a valuable addition necessary for total fitness.

- Stretching reduces the risk of injuries. Most everyday injuries and athletic injuries are caused either by trauma (e.g. a fall or impact with another individual) or by overextending a joint, muscle or connective tissue which results in muscle pulls, sprains and strains. People who follow regular and progressive stretching programs suffer at least 50 percent fewer overextension injuries than those who do not.

- Stretching is a good warm-up and cool-down for other types of training sessions. In addition a stretching program improves neuromuscular coordination and when performed immediately after your workout, stretching will prevent soreness and promote faster physiological recovery.

- When done correctly stretching is enjoyable! Have you ever awakened in the morning and were still in bed, slowly stretched your entire body? It felt great, did it not? In fact various stretches can be performed before you get out of bed in the morning. It is a great way to prepare your body to face the day ahead!

When to Stretch:

Anyone interested in improving his or her flexibility should stretch every day for at least 10 to 15 minutes. If you can manage it, stretching three to four times per week will gradually improve your joint and muscle flexibility and daily stretching will increase your flexibility even more dramatically.

Mindful Thoughts: Mindfulness Thoughts pt1

Thoughts...

When you sit down to meditate, a stream of thoughts distracts you, thoughts about the past, thoughts about the future, thoughts about things you worry, thoughts about things you want or don't want.  As soon as you attempt to put your attention on your breath you will meet your mind and your mind is the most rambling, chaotic, needling,  insulting, insufferable person you will ever meet and you are completely identified with this internal dialog. It's like some maniac walks through the front door of your house and follows you around from room to room and refuses to stop talking and this happens every day of your life. This voice is predominately unhappy, so it generates an  enormous amount of unhappiness. 

 The most important thing that happens with mindfulness is the moment you can separate from that internal voice, no longer identify with the constant stream of thinking. Awakening. Wake up out of the stream of thoughts. And when you wake up, you become present and a completely different dimension of consciousness is suddenly there. 

It is a true breakthrough when you realize here is my thinking, here are all the importune thoughts I've been having, habitual thoughts, repetitive thoughts, very often recurring negative thoughts, here I am knowing that these thoughts are going through my head.

The identification breaks,  you stop identifying with the stream of thinking. 

You recognize thoughts for what they are: mere appearances in consciousness, images, bits of language.

That is why the language used is awakening. Wake up out of the stream of thoughts. And when you wake up, you become present and a completely different dimension of consciousness is suddenly there. 

Another sense of self, deeper than thinking, inside of you, a stillness, an aware presence. Just that.

Now a thought that arises does not give it a necessary claim upon your life, it does not need not to have any implications, good or bad, it is just a thought.

You will always continue to think and be moved to act by thoughts but meditation gives you a choice.

You really want to follow this next thought wherever it leads?

 

The Kindness Club: Somatic Breathing

 On Monday, we enjoyed a video called, "Somatic Meditation" by Dr. Raymond Ray who taught us a practice called Twelve Fold Lower Belly Breathing.  He showed us how the lower belly is our core and the universal life source we share with our fellow beings.  

WEEKEND ZEN: Peace During the Pandemic- Coronavirus/ COVID-19 Guided Meditation

 Some narrations from within the video:

At this point we all have a deep understanding of fear and sacrifice. We all know what it feels like to be alone and afraid. Perhaps these emotions are stemming from something deeper. Perhaps our fear and sadness are a result of feeling powerless. Many of us do not yet understand the power that lies within us, the change we can insight, and the transformation just waiting for us at the other end of this pandemic.

Before anything else, we must acknowledge where we feel powerless. If we want to transform and heal, we must first accept where we are in pain. What part of this pandemic is the most stressful for you? Where do you feel a lack of control? Acknowledge how that makes you feel… Breathe deeply. In this moment, just be, with your feelings of powerlessness.

What we once knew as normal is changing. Shifting. Transforming. How is this an opportunity to transform? … How are you willing to shift?

Our world is evolving. This experience is transformative for each and every person individually. And we're all connected. Linked. Intertwined. Thus, this will change our world.

·        Be aware of how resilient you have been in this time.

·        Be aware of how resilient your community has been at this time.

·        Be aware of how resilient each person has been in this time.

Within the world there are the communities. Within the communities there are the individuals. And within each individual there is such power and compassion. Power to incite change. To grow and shift. To transform. Even in the most painful situations. 

 

Kindness Club Now on Mondays at 1pm

 

Please note there will be no Kindness Club on Sunday, 9/6/2020.  We look forward to seeing you at our new day and time on Mondays at 1pm.  ♥

Mindful Thought: The Inner Child

 

It is actually a medical term used in therapeutic applications in counseling and health settings.

It includes what a person learned as a child, before puberty. The inner child is often conceived as a semi-independent sub-personality subordinate to the waking conscious mind. 
The inner child encompasses the parts of our psyche that retain the qualities we all possessed as children. The joyful energies of creativity, curiosity, playfulness are potent: they can mobilize a collapsed system and be a catalyst in the healing process. 

Inner child also describes parts of us that have been deeply wounded. Various incidents in our childhood, especially highly charged ones, that left us hopeless, sad, angry, scarred and/or unsupported live unchanged in our subconscious.
Why does this happen? We simply did not have the cognition to understand what was happening and often there was no supportive presence to explain it to us. So, the emotion was left unprocessed and frozen, these early experiences leave “markers” in our body and mind, show up in adulthood as thoughts, beliefs, images and habits.

When we reconnect and resolve our childhood issues we reprogram the negative conditioning of the past with something more positive.

The cry we hear from deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain is the key to transforming anger, sadness, and fear.
~Thich Nhat Hanh~

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese monk who is one of most important Mindfulness teacher of our time.

Based on Dharma talks by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh and insights from participants in retreats for healing the inner child, this book is an exciting contribution to the growing trend of using Buddhist practices to encourage mental health and wellness. Reconciliation focuses on the theme of mindful awareness of our emotions and healing our relationships, as well as meditations and exercises to acknowledge and transform the hurt that many of us experienced as children. The book shows how anger, sadness, and fear can become joy and tranquility by learning to breathe with, explore, meditate, and speak about our strong emotions. Reconciliation offers specific practices designed to bring healing and release for people suffering from childhood trauma. The book is written for a wide audience and accessible to people of all backgrounds and spiritual traditions. Buy here

Thich Nhat Hanh
https://www.lionsroar.com/healing-the-child-within/

The meditation here is the key part as we use our imagination to connect with our inner child, we travel back to him or her to solve, heal and protect. When we feel anxious it is the inner child screaming, it is the inner child gasping for air. We go back in time to hold it, to show it compassion and to love it.
This can be a challenging exercise, so when you feel overwhelmed take a few deep breathes and invite someone in the imagination you trust and love that holds your hand, or holds you.
♥

Mindful Thought: Self-Esteem pt7

 

Welcome to day 7 of the Seven Days of Self-Esteem

Today we gonna explore one of the biggest impediments to a healthy self-esteem: the quest for perfection

From the time we were young we feel the pressure for perfection, in school, in our career, in relation ships and in physical appearance.
In our attempts to attain perfection our attention is constantly drawn to our flaws, we berate our self for falling short or we are unable to let go of mistakes.
Our relentless inner critic robes us from the ability of feeling satisfaction and happiness even when we reach a goal.
Our best is never good enough.
This unattainable quest for perfection diminishes our self-esteem.
It doesn't allow us to accept who we are.

Many of us have this idea that striving for perfection and constantly critique our flaws propels us towards success but beating ourselves up doesn't further us towards goals.
It depletes our confidence which makes us less likely to take risks.
If we want to be happy we want our self esteem to grow
We have to let go of our perfectionist tendencies.
We want to learn that our achievements don't equal our self worth and the process is equal as important as the goal.
Raising our self esteem involves appreciating all we CAN do and honoring all that we can't.
It involves recognizing that our best is good enough.

Changing our views and perspective is not an easy task, raising ones self-esteem requires patience, time and effort.
The ideas we have about ourselves are often with us for years.
So keep an eye out for your inner critic, 
be mindful of black and white thinking or jumping to conclusions.
And saying -should- far to often.
Catch yourself when you have self critical or self defeating judgments
and practice re-framing those believes.
Surround yourself with loving friends who accept you.
Celebrate your efforts not only your achievements,
accept that sometimes you have success and sometimes you fail and neither outcome determines your worth.
Drop the habit of comparison and invite in self compassion.
Let go of perfectionist tendencies and when you notice them practice loving kindness and as your acceptance for yourself grows so will your self esteem.
We will repeat this program often as a reminder and to strengthen your practice. 
As your self esteems roars so will your happiness and your peace of mind.

Uplifting Ted Talk : The perfection detox | Petra Kolber

Mindful Thought: Self-Esteem part 6

 

Welcome to day 6 of the Seven Days of Self-Esteem

On Friday we focused on cultivating self-compassion. Today we talk about the #1 reason for low

self esteem: comparisons.

The activity of comparing one's self with others is a major trigger for a plummet in self esteem, a shame reaction. Shame fills the gap between what- ideally- we would like to be, do and have, and what we see ourselves as actually being, doing, and having. The bigger the gap, the greater the pain. 
The trouble is that when we enter the state of comparing, our perception is distorted. We become blind to our own value, while devaluing or dismissing the real worth we have.

We are raised in a society that teaches us to compare ourselves with others. In many families parents use comparisons to try to control the behaviors of the children. "Look at the grades Luna got. You could do as well if you put more effort into it." Or "Josie is so pretty and thin. Wouldn't you like to lose those 20 pounds?" 
Not only parents, but school settings try to encourage students to do "better than" others. Peer groups form around those who have more or "better" qualities of the group. Jocks are thought to have more athletic ability; the Nerds, more technical and/or intellectual abilities, Beauty Queens, more beauty and popularity.
The media shows us how we are to look, what we should think, and be like. Plastic surgeons have had a run on Angelina Jolie lips. Anorexia sufferers plaster the tabloids.
All those comparisons we make, separate us from human connectedness.
If we compare ourselves and conclude that we are less, we feel depleted and depressed and we withdraw, hide, get away from others so they won't see us as unlovable or incapable. The human connectedness fades and we feel alone.

Social media is like kerosene poured on the flame of social comparison. In the past there was hardly any exposure to other people's triumphs, now such news is at our fingertips constantly, updating us about a greater range of people and we constantly look/ like/comment at others through the rose-tinted glasses and filters of Facebook, Instagram and more.

On social media we observe people accolades and achievements without having an insight to their challenges.
We compare our worst moment to their best one. When we're reliant on others for our sense of self, only feeling good if we get positive feedback or markers of status, we're at risk for depression. In western culture to have a high self esteem we have this sense that we have to be special or above average, to prove we are better we become competitive. This heighten false sense of self esteem is linked to our most recent success or failure, so our self worth is totally dependent on our circumstances.

Self compassion is unconditional.

So we want to drop our comparing and practice self compassion.

When we are committed to our own well being and recognize the harm we do to ourselves by comparisons, we can decide to stop.

If you start to compare, ask yourself the following:

Do I have all the information?

Am I judging fairly, or using someone’s success to make myself feel like a failure?

Will comparing make me feel better or worse about myself? Be honest!

We can commit to telling ourselves something like, "I refuse to be so mean to myself (or the other). I am merely different from him/her. I have my own unique value." At first it may be a struggle to replace your self talk. But with practice, often the hurtful comparisons will stop as soon as you recognize that you are making them.

Here also the 3 pillars of self-compassion work: kindness, common humanity and mindfulness.

When you are aware of your self talk, be kind to yourself and replace those thoughts. Know that no matter how pretty, successful or rich someone is, they still have their own way to suffer. Success, money and good looks are not the factors for happiness. Look at the statistics on suicide.

Being happy lies within us, by accepting who we are and offering our self kindness and compassion.
By being grateful for what we have instead of longing for what we don't or can't have. 
The more you let go of social comparison, the deeper your will accept yourself and embrace the unique aspects of who you are, including success and failure.

Good read at Tiny Buddha about comparisons here 

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (A Flower Blooms)

Beautiful quote: A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms. ~Zen Shin~

WEEKEND ZEN: Meditation for Anxiety - 20 Minute Guided Meditation for Anxiety Let Go of Fear & Worries

“ This is a guided meditation to take you on a journey of relaxation. Help Clear your mind of clutter and calm you. It is designed to help reduce your stress level and improve your overall health and well being.” - Power Meditation YouTube Channel